Cold As Stone
by lil-hermione-at-heart
Summary: Cold As Stone by Lady Antebellum It's been 2 years since he told Hermione he loved her; but it's been 1 year since he married Ginny and 1 year since he last saw Hermione. To this day, he still didn't know why he chose to marry her instead of Hermione. But now, after 2 years of nothing from Hermione, he's starting to think he made a mistake. Sequel to "Someone Like You"


**Chapter One-Cold As Stone**

Harry sat in his office reviewing reports of previous missions that aurors had turned in to him. Being the head of the department wasn't all it was cracked up to be. It was mainly a lot of paperwork and not a lot of missions. Harry shook his head, mentally chastising himself for taking the promotion.

But today was one of his worst ones yet. It was his one year anniversary with Ginny. That wasn't exactly what made it a bad day, more like it was the one year anniversary of the last time he had seen Hermione. And he'd spent the whole day thinking about those last few moments he had seen her before she'd gotten swept away by his bride-to-be.

_He came running into the Burrow, undone tie flopping around. He came to a halt in the living room. Hermione was standing there with jewelry laid out on the table and a pair of shoes next to a gown that was lying across the couch. At the commotion he cause by barging in, she whirled around to face him._

_ "Harry, what are you doing here? You know you're not supposed to see the bride before the wedding?" she scolded him in her best motherly tone that he'd gotten accustom to over the years._

_ He forced him not to smile at it. "I'm not trying to see Ginny; I want to talk to you. Hermione…"_

_ "No Harry, she'll be out any minute and you need to go back outside to finish up any decorations." She hadn't even given him a chance to say anything. _

_All the unsaid thoughts that were banging around inside his head, begging to be spilled, almost gave him a migraine. He needed to tell her, but the look she was giving him was begging him to keep his mouth shut. He tried to keep his expression neutral but he knew she saw right through it. _

_Just at the moment, a little redhead came running into the room. "Ok Herms, hair's done. I'm ready for the dress. Oh, Harry! Why are you here? You know its bad luck to see the bride before the wedding!" she shrieked, hiding behind the corner of the adjoining room. _

_He gave Hermione one last hopeless look. "Sorry Gin. I was just talking with 'Mione." Finally letting his gaze leave hers, he left._

She hadn't shown after that. He hadn't even seen her leave the house. After the ceremony, he had gone looking for her, but she was nowhere to be found. Finally Ron caught up with him and, when Harry had asked where Hermione was, Ron admitted that she had left right after the ceremony began. Ron also confessed that Hermione had told him she wasn't going to stay for the wedding. Harry, at the time, decided to take it as a blessing. If she had stayed, if she had been within his view, things certainly would not have ended well. It was good he hadn't gotten to talk to her beforehand, and it was good she hadn't stayed. Right?

Harry sighed and put down the report. Checking the clock, he decided it was time to call it a day and, after gathering his robes, he marched his way out of the ministry, not speaking to anyone. Once outside, he apparated to a small lake on the side of a street. Looking up, he saw the apartment he had once shared with Ginny almost 2 years ago. Looking down, he saw his own face staring back at him on the water's smooth surface.

Harry took a few steps over to the bench that was just a few feet away, sitting on it and putting his head in his hands. It had been 3 years since he had thought he had fallen in love with Hermione. It had been 2 since he had told her. Just like it had been 2 years since he had gotten back together with Ginny.

That night in Hermione's apartment had been amazing. He had finally told her that he loved her, and she had felt the same. But the next day when he had returned to his flat early to let Hermione sleep, Ginny was there, waiting for him. There was just something about her that always made him stumble. And he wasn't proud of it. Was it because she was his first love? That would be the only reason Harry could come up with. He had taken her back that day, and he would regret it.

Lifting his head and taking in his surroundings, he remembered the night Hermione had come here to see him, talk to him; to try one last time. She had said that she thought if he saw her again that things might change. Unfortunately for him, she was right. It was then that he started regretting asking Ginny to marry him; little did he know then that that would never go away.

He hadn't known what to say to her that night, which was obviously a bad thing. He had opted to keep his mouth shut instead of messing up the situation even more. And look how that ended: with her walking away from him, basically rejecting his plea to not walk out of his life again.

But he had deserved it then, just like he still deserved it now. But he couldn't squash the small hope that she would've turned around and ran back to him anyways. Or that she would show up on day and let him back into her life.

A lone tear fell from his eye and ran down his cheek, tickling his jaw. He quickly wiped it away with the back of his hand and strode over the edge of the water again. Looking down at his reflection, he imagined her's floating alongside it. Another tear fell from his eye, and then another, until he had a small waterfall of tears flowing down his face and onto the surface of the smooth lake.

It was times like this that he cursed his feelings for her, cursed his feelings for Ginny, and cursed his ability to love. Why couldn't he just be the tin man with no heart at all? Why couldn't he have left that behind when he came back after Voldemort had "killed" him? He didn't want to love anyone anymore. It just ended up hurting too much, or hurting someone else.

When the war was over, he thought he'd finally have a chance at true happiness. At first he thought it was going to be with Hermione when he had kissed after the final battle. But when they got swept up in life post-war, the Golden Trio and drifted a bit. It had taken time to get everything sorted out and Harry was too mixed up in adjusting to even think about having the guts to talk to Hermione about that kiss.

But when she had finally brought it up, it was difficult to think back to that day when they had lost so many loved ones. When he had finally gotten his mind to focus on that kiss, it was as if everything just came flowing out of nowhere. He couldn't have stopped himself if he had wanted to, and what happened after was just amazing. But that didn't make the pain any less difficult to deal with.

He stared back at his own face, cursing his ability to love.

As he watched the anger and pain grow in his own expression, he couldn't help but feel lost; lost in his own heart and mind. Here he was, married to a great woman, and he was pining over a girl who was once his closest friend that he thought he loved. But if he had loved her, why did Ginny break him so much? If he had loved Hermione enough, he would have been able to say no to Ginny, been able to walk away.

As much as he stood their chastising himself, he still knew that it rang true in his heart that he loved her. If he didn't, he wouldn't be standing here completely alone, regretting the past 2 years of his life. But he also knew that it didn't matter anymore. He'd only spoken to Hermione twice in 2 years. For all he knew, she had found someone else and moved on. And he knew he was going to have to accept that; because he had blown his chance at her heart.

The more he dwelled on it, the more he was certain that she had moved on with her life. Hermione wasn't one to continue to dwell on the past, but rather a person to put the worst behind her and move on to better things. He was sure she had done just that. But no matter what he told himself, he knew it was going to be hard to forget her and any feelings he had for her. But he still needed to.

He would learn to let go of his feelings for Hermione and start to enjoy the great woman he had married, enjoy the life he had. Right?


End file.
